Aynee · Yoday'a

I'm in a class on (all of, ahem) post-colonial deconstruction as seen through Chinua Achebe's canon. Achebe is an amazing writer, and I've really learned a lot in this class - especially by reading Loomba's Post-colonialism/Colonialism, which I highly recommend.

There is one problem I have with the class.

Just to clarify, this is the teacher's interpretation. I can't say how much it is/isn't true for Achebe, since I'm not, you know, him.

My professor views the pre-colonial Ibo life in Things Fall Apart as analogous to the "Old Testament community". Post-colonial life is Christian.

There are a LOT of things to unpack in this, but I'd like to focus on one in particular. It's what I feel assured to state - I think there's a BIG problem in seeing missionaries/colonial rule as Christ-like, but I don't feel educated enough to really expand upon it.

Part of the teacher's implicit view is that Christianity came to replace Judaism. That this Israelite society was bigoted, exclusionary, whereas Christian life was tolerant, superior.

This view is, sadly, common. It's a Christian view privileged as factual, even by a lot of atheists I've met. When my teacher says it, I feel slighted, and ashamed. And unable to say anything to the contrary.

It saddens me that, in this space which is supposed to be dedicated to taking down hierarchy, exclusionary epistemes still exist.

I'm white. So white I shine in the dark. And I benefit from it, all of the time, even while I try to unpack how that privilege has blinded me. I also benefit from being able to pass - people tell me I don't "look" Jewish (which is anger-inducing on its own), and being with a man covers my sexuality. So people will assume I'm part of the dominant culture, and say all kinds of crazy-making things. When they find out I'm not... then comes this huge, audible gap between us.

I think this gives me a slight understanding of what my POC peers go through. Not that it means I automatically know about their *particular* state, the stereotypes and challenges particular to an individual or subgroup, and again I benefit from WP. But I know what it feels like to go from dominant to Other. Belonging to the dominant culture at times means I can't know what it's like to always feel on the out... but I've heard, "oh, you just got jewed", "your nose doesn't look big enough", "you know who's really at fault for the economic crisis", "the 'OT' god is vicious", "you'd be a better person if you were Christian". These things hurt. It hurts not to be represented. It hurts to be ignored. It hurts to be silenced. But is my claim of understanding fair?

Loomab discusses the status of the subaltern. I love Arrow of God, but I've been reading a lot of womanist critique on it. What does it mean that one Nigerian writer stands in for all of Africa? What does it mean that this writer is male?

This word, "subaltern", it's so important. Where do I stand? As a Jew in Christian land, as Ashkenazi and not Sephardic, as white and thus part of a racist system, as the descendant of immigrants classified as non-white when they came?

What does it mean that this class is predominantly white and American and professing to critique post-colonialist discourse? What does it mean that this class is predominantly Christian and calls Judaism backwards? I stand in the former and want to challenge the latter - is my voice powerful or powerless?

I'm still trying to learn.

A short (712 words) bizarre piece about the great refrigerator rebellion of 2008. There is a sad amount of truth behind it.

As always, criticism is welcome.

Please ( enjoy )

 I have this account in order to lurk through (perhaps now, add to) LJ communities.

 However it has been suggested by a dear friend that: